You Best Start Believing In Web Blogs, Miss Turner -- You're In One!

So, today was the Cherry Blossom Festival, and of course, I went. I came home without a new girlfriend, or even a new girl _ friend, so I suppose that counts as a complete failure on my part. However, I did immensely enjoy being there, and I even worked up the courage (EEEE! GO, AJ, GO!) to tell one of the girls from the fashion show that I thought she was very cute on stage.

Then I ran away and almost vomited, partly because I was so mortified that I had told her that, and partly because I was disgusted with myself for leaving without offering any sort of conversation besides that. Ughghhghgh, IDIOT! IDIOT! MAN, that sucked! She probably thought I was the creepiest, most awkward person of the day -- like, tell-all-your-friends awkward.

Oh well... She's a cute girl -- she probably gets awkward guys telling her all the time how adorable she is... -______-; It took me right back to high school, or junior high, or whenever I was last getting my pants scared off me by girls (that's not a pun). I don't think I've ever been so petrified before Inter-Gender Interaction, or so aghast with myself and fluttery after. All over one sweet girl at a fashion event. PITIFUL. I need to work out more... at flirting...

But the good news is, I did it. And when I was standing there, staring through people at her, weighing my options, I went, "Aw, heck," and realized I could never live with myself just walking away to find a bus stop without approaching her. I just had to throw myself overboard and make it happen.

I'm pretty sure she saw me looking at her, and probably noticed she was drawing all my attention during the show, too. But she was standing there by herself after, flipping through options on her phone, so I edged in on her for about ten scary minutes before committing to the plan and finally walking towards her... probably like an obvious beeline, but I was scared, so cut me a break.

She saw me coming and kind of looked down like she hadn't noticed, but I resolved to not back down, so I went right up to her. About the eight-feet-away mark, she looked back up and we maintained some sheepish form of eye contact, which held for about two seconds. Then I stammered my, "Hey, you were great-" mumbling, and she looked back and forth between me and the ground, kinda giggled and said thanks, and did a little curtsey.

Then I like positively RAN away, for fear some boyfriend would pop out of nowhere or some Asian beefcake would step in and hijack things, and make me look DOUBLY stupid.

It was a sad ride home (when I finally found a bus, after about two hours of walking and waiting). Such a beautiful creature seems so many levels of poise and beauty beyond me -- clumsy caucasian dork, no social life, still gets acne...

But you know what? I know I have a heart of gold, a charming wit, and a loving, loyal personality that some girl WILL be smitten with. I may not be Parappa the Rappa with gold bling and a 40k car and some sort of Golden Abs Six Pack, but just the fact that I can make that quip with a straight face (and two thousand more of them a day) should indicate something exciting and special I bring to the table. Maybe it's warmth, or care, or just the fun of the 20-second adventures I live out from sun-up to sun-down, but whatever it is that makes the AJ character, it's something other guys lack, and the right girl will find it *irresistible*.

I tend to blog depreciative comments and jokes as a presentation of humility, but I'll risk sounding brash to wrap this up on an unusually optimistic and honest note:

Even someone as precious and perfect as an adorable size-3 Japanese girl can find me a loving and rewarding partner to stand by, trust, and cherish. Somewhere deep down, I do have self-confidence, and for good reason.