Sorry, That Last Blog Nearly Killed Me

In celebration of tomorrow (today's?) new Halloween episode of Spitefully Yours, I thought I might drop a slight spoiler and post about a relevant topic most of you likely know nothing about: dressing up like a girl.

On shoots wherein I find myself donning female attire (let's face it, it happens a lot when your most common collaborators are a broad mustached guy and a goon with a huge beard), I consistently make what appears to be a strange request for a female companion on the shoot -- camera girl, script girl, lighting girl, production assistant girl -- whatever, someone female to accompany us for the day. Highly strange given that I rarely (if ever) have gender-specific preferences for crew (cast is always another matter, covered in some other blog). My cohorts have questioned it in the past, and I wouldn't expect them to understand given the frequency of how often they play The Girl in comparison to how often *I* play The Girl.

For those of you who aren't accustomed to dressing up like a girl (real girls need not apply), I thought I might finally give it a try outlining my girl-on-set dilemma and see who can make sense of it.

We'll use Needlemouse as the perfect example -- those of you who saw it know I played several roles, including that of ultra-feminine hedgehog Amy Rose.

Whether they realize it or not, guys have an ingrained code that rarely comes into play, but is as follows: when hanging out with a dude dressed as a girl, all other guys must maintain a distance of at least ten feet away at all times for their own dignities. Trust me, we don't think about it until it happens, but once you're standing in the parking lot wearing a dress, your buddies scatter and let you fend for yourself.

Huh. Buncha tough guys they are...

As embarrassing as a trip to set can be while crossdressed, it gets about ten times weirder when the people you brought avoid you like the plague once you get out in public. You can't blame them -- they're guys, and that's how guys are wired. We dodge each other once attired with cootie-clothes. But it makes a sheepish shoot that much more awkward.

Here's the thing about girls: they don't have the ten-feet-away code. In fact, girls often seem to get a kick out of accompanying their male friends in drag, and can even be a little protective over them. Contrast that with the way other guys will throw you to the wolves, and it's a no-brainer that getting a girl on set to escort you makes your shoot a lot less awkward.

Let it be known that despite all this, I'd still vouch for the Bro Code of ditching the guy in the dress. Guys who are too cool with each other dressed as women have the potential to give off a funny and suspect appearance (probably why we have a natural aversion to our buddies once they're in costume). But when it comes to the comfort you can't get from wearing your own clothes, nothing beats a gal pal walking with you.

Thanks, ladies, for walking us to set when nobody else will. ;)

Open The Chest... Stab The Blog...

This is one of those blogs I shouldn't be writing (timestamp: 3:00am), but I wanted to spew a quick update out onto the web. SO HERE'S THE UPDATE: nothing much is happening.

We wrapped the first episode of Eisenstein's new show, "SPITEFULLY YOURS," and are gearing up for immediate production on his second episode next week. This evening, I got to spend several hours drawing ("cartooning") the comic-book-style opening title sequence, which shows Eisenstein and his roommate, Jerry, in a number of "typical" mishaps around the apartment. Cut to the theme song and integrated with Beard's special Spitefully font, it's looking delicious. Got some tweaks to accomplish tomorrow, along with color correction and so forth, but we're otherwise ready for voices.

And did I mention we're CAST? E's got a new voice! We're so stoked and excited! Recording for his lines will begin very soon. This should keep us still on track to premiere the pilot online next weekend. Methinks some sort of party is in order...

Meanwhile, we finally decided on a direction to take the show's third episode, and so I got to work scripting that tonight. I'm amazed that even the simplest ideas become the most devilishly clever once Eisenstein becomes part of the mix. At this rate, we could set up an episode entirely about dental floss and he could STILL crack a few solids and leave us with a five-minute time killer.

Oops, reminds me. The official website/mock-up blog, "Spitefully Yours," needs posts before the pilot premieres and attracts visitors, so for the next few days (weeks), I'm going to be splitting some efforts scrawling out segments for it.

Wow! This is so exciting! Our web show is so close to taking off! And there's so much to do and so little time to do it! But it keeps me busy! And I LIKE IT!


Oh, and I also got the chance to stop by Open Road Films today and help record a behind-the-scenes featurette for the Bold Native DVD. I pretty much said all the wrong things for a steady hour. We'll see how well they can trim around the worst remarks. If they can find 15 seconds of gold among that, I'll be mighty impressed.

For Blogging, James?

Meh. Four questions:

1) Why am I always hungry?
2) Why am I always lonely?
3) Why am I never sleepy?
4) Why can't I settle on what to do?

Let's examine these one at a time:

1) --the reason I am likely always hungry is not, in fact, because I hunger, but because I like yummy things, and the world (and my apartment in particular) is perpetually full of them. Of course, the most coveted treasures of all the yummy things -- restaurant foods -- are just out of reach (financially, geographically, and -- bear with me -- chronologically). So why not just eat the other things presently available? Cause creeping through the living room while people try to sleep is awkward and noisy. Unfortunately, I missed dinner tonight, so I'm EXTRA FAMISHED beyond the norm! :< I guess that's what I get for an extra big lunch. -_-;

2) --the reason I am likely always lonely is because I am, in fact, alone. Well, you know. I got Beard. That fellow is a barrel of laughs. And that takes you so far. But at the end of the day, it takes the love and warmth of the female creature to round out the weary heart. Of course, not for everybody -- Beard's part Vulcan, so love has no purpose toward his master plan of moon-ferrying the human race off our planet. I dare say we'd all be better off as emotionless as Beard. But I digress; the reason I am lonely is because I do not have a significant other, and the reason I do not have a significant other is UNCLEAR. Probably because I'm not social enough. Liking Chinese food wouldn't hurt, either.

3) --the reason I am never sleepy (oh but I am!) is because I've gotten into a really strange sleep-funk, partially accredited to the schmuck downstairs who blares his rap from the hours of 10PM - 7AM. I really need to throw a brick through his window, or ask him kindly to turn it down a few hundred decibals. But really, I just want to throw a brick through his window.

4) --the reason I can't settle on what to do is because I have SO MUCH TO DO! It's like a buffet of all your favorite foods (oogh, so hungry!) You've only got one plate (one smaaall plate) and so much food to pile onto it! No seconds! So what are you going to attack first? My life is a little like that. Every spare night begs the question, "How best will you spend these hours?" Aside from this apparent DISEASE I have (where I feel compelled to keep shooting new movies and writing new projects), I don't really need or want new stuff to work on. In fact, I have much to do that's old! Some of it very old!

And yet, I get exhausted from all I'm facing, and I inevitably throw away some nights on movies, games, television, or music, just to relieve some stress and restore some sanity (I swear I have some laying around somewhere...) That might lead into an arguable 5) Why do I feel guilty all the time? (one word: Christian)


So what else is new? MmmNeedlemouse passed 30,000 views! Happy 30,000 to us! Eisenstein McBones is getting his own internet show. That's (wicked) cool. And I got a job working for Dan Schneider (iCarly, Victorious). Ooo! And it's been raining for three days, too! In Los Angeles! Good news all around!

Halloween is coming up, and I still don't know what to be. I face this dilemma every year, of wanting to be something CUTE. We guys in America get a bad wrap for wanting to dress cute, but who can blame us? Our only options are Go Funny, Go Scary, or Go Home (alternative being "Go Neutral," which equates to a waste of a costume). I've had a lot of people tell me to break out the Amy Rose costume again, but I think most of them just want to see me stranded in West Hollywood in a dress...