I've Seen What I'd Have To Blog To Stop Men Like Him

3...2...1... -nah, just kidding. Too early.

Happy holidays from Hancock International Airport in Syracuse, New York. My stinkin' puddle jumper seems to have spurred its last spaw, because my flight's been delayed. Hopefully not too late, or I'll miss my connection in Philadelphia, arrive late in Los Angeles, hang up my transportation, not pick up the dog I'm sitting, etc. etc. So it's a little bit imperative that somebody figures something out and we all get where we're trying to go.

Given that it's very nearly 2010, I think it's time to take a look back through the year and see what went right and what went wrong. So here goes.

JANUARY: I moved to Los Angeles, though still a student, and began studying with ICLA. I took up an internship with Open Road Films, and wound up with a boom mike and a really solid crew credit on their upcoming feature film, Bold Native.

FEBRUARY: Lived at Oakwoods and loved the sun and 80 degrees. Also enjoyed my first In-n-Out Burger and Bob's Big Boy (perhaps a little *too* much). Also sorted out the bus system swiftly.

MARCH: March is the first-ever International Nicolas Cage Day, which me and my colleagues enjoyed. I lost my phone, but gained Guitar Hero. It completed me. I also almost got thrown out of my apartment for lighting an alien ship on fire in the yard. Apparently they take open flames extremely seriously in California.

APRIL: I met Cory Edwards in person for lunch, and we had a good talk. Also shot my last Rootclip, which performed pathetically (despite being made overnight in a matter of hours). I also performed my Nicolas Cage impression for the writer of his film, Face/Off, but accidentally busted out Hayden Christiansen instead and made a total fool of myself. Fail.

MAY: I came back to New York and graduated. My degree is fairly worthless, but I miss Ithaca College, anyway. I also got word that Kelly Services had more (high-paying) transcription for me, that would last all summer, but it turns out it didn't.

JUNE: An unsuccessful month of trying to get work. Nate scored a job that kept him quite busy, ruining my hopes and dreams of shooting a solid indie feature. I wrap up The Fungus-Ridden Collection Volume 3.

JULY: Another depressing month of no work. Though I apply for basic positions, my ability to be hired deteriorates with the oncoming departure date for California.

AUGUST: The wildest month of my life, possibly. I moved to California. I gave away my parrot in an unexpected twist. I lived with Allen DiBenedetto for two weeks. I documented it all.

SEPTEMBER: My first month in LA. My housemates and I settled on a home, which was immediately burgled the night after moving in. My computer and some other electronics were taken. I began a job hunt, which (I didn't realize at the time) would continue for the remainder of the year. Also, my car dies.

OCTOBER: I got hired onto 'The Lie' as a professional production assistant, which was much different from what I had expected. I got very little sleep, lost a lot of weight, and discovered a new appreciation for everything in my life that had nothing to do with filmmaking. I also attended the wrap party with the rest of the cast and crew, and suddenly felt like it was all worth it. I also got my first-ever speeding ticket, for about $400.

NOVEMBER: Twentieth Century Fox TV hired me as a production assistant for their upcoming pilot, 'Keep Hope Alive.' I went in to fill out paperwork and lend a hand around the office for a couple days. I also received a copy of Flash, which I immediately started animating with.

DECEMBER: Dad fell out of a tree and fractured his hip, and Keep Hope Alive informed me that I would not PA on their show after all. The Falcon Punchathon raised record amounts of money, and I scored interviews and prospective positions with movie trailer companies. I visited home for the holidays, caught up mildly with friends, and came back to LA on New Year's Eve to ring in 2010.

Swell recap, right? A little boring maybe, but it's old news anyway. People on Facebook have read far more detailed accounts from my original LA journal entries. And besides, we all know I'm really just killing time waiting for an airplane to arrive.

My, What A Wonderful Blog You've Discovered!

Not only am I ready for 2009 to end, I think I'm ready to go back to California again. Not sure about all of you, but the holidays this year really beat the tar out of me. I'm normally a pretty festive guy, but I think all the excitement and joy of playing Christmas ran out early, and I'm instead playing "feed freezing chickens" and "sweep out chimneys."

I love my family -- I do -- but I prefer life in the suburbs booking appointments and chatting scripts, and will probably never understand the driving need to vanish into the countryside, out of cell service and forty minutes from the nearest Starbucks. And this 5-degrees-and-freezingly-windy needs to stop. I'll take my 50 degrees and slight breezes rippling the palm trees over clouds of face-melting acid snow gusting down from the treetops like some sort of attacking elemental hawk.

I seriously ran out of time much quicker than I thought I would. I had been hoping to stop by and see people, to maybe do some writing, finish a few videos, perhaps shoot a new one, play video games with my brother, watch Die Hard for Christmas (or at least Home Alone, or even Jim Carrey dressed as the Grinch), etc. When the holidays only come once a year -- and you love them more than any other day or season -- it can cause a blow to your emotions to come back and feel like they cheated right around you and left you picking up the wrapping paper.

I saw Watchmen again last night. It wasn't nearly as good as I remembered.

This Is One Doodle That Can't Be Unblogged, Home-Skillet.

Gotta love how I make up for lost blogging time over the last week of 2009, huh?

So tonight, I've put the finishing touches on a new, animated holiday short (link here!) My hopes to have it live by Christmas were sadly dashed amidst the chaos of hospital visits, making rent, taking interviews, and shopping for presents. But as I always like to say, better late than never, eh? And besides, with 2009 coming to a close, the net could use one last Fungus-Ridden hoorah before shifting pages to start accumulating films for our 2010 catalogue. 'Tis the season for last-minute surprise additions.

This short, like several other of my animations, features characters I first designed in high school (and who have made a few appearances ever since, in other clips, websites, and even a computer game!) The two I've used in this film are MR. BUSHHOG and MR. WIZARD. Mr. Bushhog is an adorable little ball of fur; he's got no arms and no mouth, but he's astonishingly capable considering. He originated as a side-kick, but came to the forefront when I discovered his undeniable cuteness made him an instant crowd-favorite. Mr. Wizard, even more sparsely-faced than Mr. Bushhog, was designed as an unlucky-but-lovable little hazard zone. Though he was once the sole subject of every unnatural fate, torment, and act of God, he's since taken up the spot of Supporting Character, and has instead become something of an oblivious bad luck charm for his furry, pig-nosed friend.

The initial animation file for this short had been tentatively called "Hog for the Holidays," but I couldn't come to grips with how idiotic that sounded. Plus, I suffer this massive, unjustified fear that Mr. Bushhog will keep the 'Hog nickname forever and turn into some sort of punk icon. On a related note, I'm interested in renaming him, but having difficulty doing it. He is, for certain, a bushhog... but he is not the *only* bushhog. In fact, there are reportedly scores of them, living in villages and running shops and riding buses... But he's the only one represented in my cartoons thus far. If I add new 'Hogs to the party, you'll have no trouble telling them apart. In the meanwhile, if you think of a good name for our little bushhog friend, be sure to pass it along for consideration! Nothing dumb like Muffins or Harry, though.

Speaking of which, this is my third cartoon short starring Mr. Bushhog and I'm looking to expand the universe. The cast of characters is actually much more expansive than just Mr. Wizard and Mr. Bushhog. I'm essentially at a crossroads as to which direction the next cartoon goes in. A set of storyboards in my desk suggests that the bushhog's next appearance will be at a barber shop, and that a new side character named Mr. Pirate will make a brief appearance. On the other hand, I'm very interested in pursuing an alternate episode taking place at the carnival, which would highlight another major character yet to be seen in any of my animations: Chainsaw the Clown, who's about as helpful and safe as his name implies. I'd like to tackle both shorts eventually, but for now, I'll be testing and considering the production of both.

Happy holidays!

My Boy, We're Pilgrims In An Unholy Blog!

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Just some pinches of current news: no job offer yet from Ignition Creative, but I'm remaining hopeful and determined. Whether a position awaits me there or not, I have the drive and commitment to continue dropping in on radars all over Los Angeles, and with 2010 comes the promise of renewed work. It's all a waiting game, and maybe also a surviving game.

I saw that another terrorist attempted an attack flying into Detroit today, and it really made my blood boil. I can't imagine boarding a plane with the intent of killing two-hundred Americans on board, for no purpose but to maim and destroy and upset others. How can any human be so wretched? Such an abominable act of barbaric hatred and baseless malice. As much as I like to support mercy and "taking the high road," I can't help but feel a scumbag like this deserves to be taken off this planet. An individual who will attempt the mass murder of two-hundred civilian strangers is not an individual earning his right to utilize our limited resources and procreate offspring. He's an individual who has proven incapable of even obeying the most simple and understood laws of nature and morality. I don't consider this a matter of education; I consider this a matter of evil.

It certainly tempts me to build myself a solid Iron Man suit and go pummel some thugs hiding in caves on the other side of the world. Starting with the flea-bitten jackals holding our soldier hostage in Afghanistan. Though my vengeful heart should strive to be caring, I can't deny a certain bloodlust for seeing those buttholes smeared all over their cave walls. It may not be justice, but I'd say killers violate their right to it once they clearly fail to honor it.

Wow, what a pissed off post for Christmas. I blame corporate media, because it seems to be the hip and trendy thing to do at the moment.

I'm counting down the last week (or so) before my plane back to Los Angeles. As of now, I'm torn between wanting to get back to my house (and work, and Flash, and a certain tub full of unhealthy snacks that prove poor for my waistline), and wanting to stay here in New York longer. Or at least, long enough to find my old friends, visit some old haunts, and pretend some broken fragment of my high school life still exists. It's funny; I don't understand the common hatred so many people have for their "high school years." I look back on my school -- and my town, really -- quite fondly. There's always some bad mixed with the good, but in general, I have a huge appreciation for the people of my town, whether I lived with them, worked with them, studied with them, or learned from them. I may be a little extra sentimental or biased right now, since the holiday decorations look soooooooo nice downtown (as they do every year).

I reaffirmed to myself the other day that I definitely -- definitely -- want to contribute funds to the Peck Memorial Library at some point, once I have a bit more wealth than one single guy needs. That library holds no special place in my heart... but its ancient, abandoned opera house upstairs is a historical monument and town novelty that I, for one, would love to see renovated and reopened. How many towns can boast a real-life opera house from the 1800's? The library owners were generous enough to allow me to shoot there largely unsupervised on one picture, so I feel an extra sense of both connection and debt to the place. It truly is a remarkable landmark, and one that I feel responsible for saving.

May 2010 prove to be the year in which I can begin my undying crusade to revive the Peck Memorial Opera House to its former, magnificent condition.

A Poweful Blogger, You Will Become!

In the strained and barely-performed words of Hayden Christiansen, "What have I DONE?"

When I boarded my plane at Los Angeles International yesterday, the temperature was floating in the balmy rafters of 60 degrees. And when I exited to change flights in Chicago, it was a frosty 28 degrees. Who knew it was only getting worse from there?

I'm now home in Marathon (now officially "Cincinnatus," as a sign post has since been erected right in front of my house proclaiming the town boundary), and the barometer is reading 21 degrees. Weather.com helpfully suggests that it "feels like 5."

SANTA, THIS IS *YOUR* FAULT! >:O

In other news, I grossly underestimated how many pairs of clothes I left here when I moved. Turns out, I'm stuck wearing size XL t-shirts with giant, obnoxious designs on them, and the same pair of underwear four days in a row.

The good news is, we have dogs here, and my AWROOO screeches are in overdrive. That's substantially refreshing. And lest they be forgotten from this blog, my family's here, too. Other than my dad, who's still in the hospital. But that's close enough.

Blogging Is For Droids!

I had a realization that if I don't keep updating my blog, the month will pass with only one post, and that is something I cannot abide in.

The holidays are fast approaching and my lack of wallet contents is making coming up with presents particularly tricky this year. I fortunately had the fore-knowledge (cough, not really) to stock up on horrifically bad movies throughout the year, so my Giftables collection is satisfactorily plump. However, bad horror flicks are not appropriate gifts for all.

This circumstance has made me especially cognitive of and thankful for my God-given blessing of unyielding creativity, matched with talent I can't credit myself with generating. As I think of my situation, I realize that I am a particularly well-suited individual (so far as humans go) for the challenge of designing meaningful and enjoyable gifts from scratch. All the necessary elements -- clever ideas, ample time, professional knack, and technical resources -- are completely accessible to me, which means I can not only give out presents that still matter, but that they can also be produced for virtually nothing but a little work and a lot of time.

And here you thought Thanksgiving ended three weeks ago...

Before I launch into any extraneous lectures (the limit's one per blog), I need to do a quick Picture Preview. Up In The Air looks banal, Alvin's Squeakquel looks horrendous, Avatar looks mediocre, It's Complicated looks tedious, and Sherlock Holmes makes me furious. Look at those smug smirks on the faces of Robert Downy and Jude Law, pasted all over Hollywood on billboards and posters. Yuck. They had so much fun making that movie. Without me. "Your day will come," sneers Robert Downy's grinning chin from the Highland billboards. "In about NINE THOUSAND YEARS!"

Hey, before I sign off, I watched Ninja Assassin last week. What a complete and dismal use of a movie title, and three hundred stunt men dressed as ninjas. It seems like it'd be impossible to screw up a movie called Ninja Assassin, and I don't know how to say this, but... they definitely screwed it up. Not the enjoyable train wreck of cheesy wire work, bad dialog, and ninja fights that I was expecting.

Okay, now bye.

You Don't Need A Blog To Drive A Sandwich

Amidst a lot of things, I've found a chance to update my blog. Granted, at 2 o'clock in the morning, but still a chance to update my blog.

Today came with news that dear old Pops fell out of a tree while doing some yard work and endured some significant damage to his hips. Two fractures, I believe, as last reported. The medics want him off his feet for potentially six weeks, but he's the kind of guy that really doesn't take doctors' orders very well. At this moment, though, it would appear he doesn't have a lot of choice. Thankfully, it's smack at the start of winter, and aside from hunting and cutting firewood, he's not got a lot of exciting stuff to be taking care of out of the house, anyway. He's got the makings of a grizzled old warrior anyhow. Ah, the benefits of having an adventurous father...

Here on the homefront, I'm developing some paranoia about this Fox comedy pilot I'm supposedly starting this coming week. My primary concern is in that I haven't yet been contacted regarding schedules or sides or set up or anything of the sort. My start paperwork is all in, so it's just about waiting for the word 'Go.' But then, there's always that shadow of doubt that, in Hollywood, you *can* be forgotten, and you *can* be replaced, and you *will* end up on street corners begging for money. So getting a bit of confirmation about this pilot would definitely clinch a bit brighter spirits here... but no word so far.

The Falcon Punchathon was two nights ago, and we again hosted a successful spread of events in cities on both American coasts. Our funding improved, too; on Friday night alone, we accumulated over $200 to donate to children's hospitals, which was a substantial hop from our previous record (made possible by the addition of our friends at RIT and their contributions).

Today, while waiting for an appointment, I decided to stop at Salvation Army and check furniture. What I ended up with instead were seasons 1 and 4 of The Simpsons on DVD. Call it impulse, but the fact that they were there -- and tax-free, and no shipping -- made me spring. And I've also been doing a lot of animation lately, so pulling in extra role model material (particularly the pioneers of family comedy) didn't seem such a bad idea, either. And after all, let's just be honest: I really, really love The Simpsons. Who doesn't? It's a good, solid show with good, solid characters. They maintain that certain childhood nostalgia that everyone somehow relates to.

As much as I prefer movies over television, that's a show I'd be more than satisfied working on the rest of my life. Assuming it's on that long.