The holidays are fast approaching and my lack of wallet contents is making coming up with presents particularly tricky this year. I fortunately had the fore-knowledge (cough, not really) to stock up on horrifically bad movies throughout the year, so my Giftables collection is satisfactorily plump. However, bad horror flicks are not appropriate gifts for all.
This circumstance has made me especially cognitive of and thankful for my God-given blessing of unyielding creativity, matched with talent I can't credit myself with generating. As I think of my situation, I realize that I am a particularly well-suited individual (so far as humans go) for the challenge of designing meaningful and enjoyable gifts from scratch. All the necessary elements -- clever ideas, ample time, professional knack, and technical resources -- are completely accessible to me, which means I can not only give out presents that still matter, but that they can also be produced for virtually nothing but a little work and a lot of time.
And here you thought Thanksgiving ended three weeks ago...
Before I launch into any extraneous lectures (the limit's one per blog), I need to do a quick Picture Preview. Up In The Air looks banal, Alvin's Squeakquel looks horrendous, Avatar looks mediocre, It's Complicated looks tedious, and Sherlock Holmes makes me furious. Look at those smug smirks on the faces of Robert Downy and Jude Law, pasted all over Hollywood on billboards and posters. Yuck. They had so much fun making that movie. Without me. "Your day will come," sneers Robert Downy's grinning chin from the Highland billboards. "In about NINE THOUSAND YEARS!"
Hey, before I sign off, I watched Ninja Assassin last week. What a complete and dismal use of a movie title, and three hundred stunt men dressed as ninjas. It seems like it'd be impossible to screw up a movie called Ninja Assassin, and I don't know how to say this, but... they definitely screwed it up. Not the enjoyable train wreck of cheesy wire work, bad dialog, and ninja fights that I was expecting.
Okay, now bye.
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