Everything The Blog Touches Is Our Kingdom

Oh, whoops. Accidental hiatus from blogging is Super Effective! For some reason, though, I feel like getting this blog rolling again (even if I have even less time now than before, and don't even use the email account this is linked to... >_< ) Let's bring you (me) up to speed: What's Out: North Hollywood, Panasonic DV cam, Eisenstein McBones (well, sort of...) What's Mostly Out: Trailer Park What's New: Random Encounters, The Beast of the Air, Lancaster, Anime Conventions, Sega consultant contract What's The Same: Peter What's Forthcoming: YouTubing status Wow, I feel a little overwhelmed trying to fit in everything that's actually updated, upgraded or changed since my earlier posts... It makes me realize how fast-tracked life really can be. :O Well, let's start with you. Who are you? Because I don't know anymore. You used to be one of maybe two people who might look at my blog on the planet. You probably knew me from either high school or college, and you didn't read regularly. You just browsed past on a whim, or wanted to make sure I wasn't tearing my hair out. And I probably flatter myself to think you enjoyed browsing my posts -- you were likely just super bored. I can't make this assumption any longer, because now you might be someone else. Someone I've never really met, who knows me as This Guy On The Internet Dressed As Pikachu. You might value this blog much more than anyone previously has, because to you, it may serve as a gold mine of background fact and day-to-day life through my eyes (and in many ways, it is). You perhaps even dug it up without knowing too much about me, aside from seeing me in a couple dozen musicals. We might have met at an anime convention, or I may have asked you a bunch of silly questions on camera there. To be honest, you could even be someone else -- it's hard to keep track of how many new people I've met, and how. But the point is, Welcome, intarweb traveler! Happy to have you! About two years ago, I was a guy still thinking the movie industry had promise for me in a "working up" sort of capacity. That I could go get a "film" job, and given time and hard work, become something powerful in the business. My stance has completely evolved, largely in part because I locked onto something far more potent and successful than any of my prior industry positions: Random Encounters. Random Encounters is my co-produced musical web series with Peter Srinivasan (my long-time producing partner, friend and roommate). It's a series of silly musical numbers based on famous video games, and yes, it was inspired by our success with Needlemouse: The Musical. We conceived the series during the making of Eisenstein's show ("Spitefully Yours") and it took off from entry one ("Singachu"), locking us into a track of not just gaming songs, but YouTubing in a larger sense. YouTube is a gold rush and a wide, beautiful entertainment frontier. It seems more random and exclusive that it actually tends to be -- a big part of getting into the mix for Peter and I has turned out to be demographic and niche of product. Eisenstein couldn't take or thrive there because he was too general; he couldn't fulfill any purpose, and therefore, the internet spat him right back out. Random Encounters has locked onto a very active and enjoyable group of nerds who love things as goofy and off the wall as I do. Because it's a much more common, and unexplored, thread, it's become a very successful series. Well, very successful for a couple guys who never got more than their friends and parents to watch their videos... >_< Sega has been extremely kind and instrumental in getting us to where we are, and also keeping us in a more "industry" capacity. Peter and I were officially invited to perform Needlemouse at their E3 after party a couple years back, and from there, found a new invitation to co-create their April Fools prank of 2012. Within months, Sega had us finally involved in a paid capacity, developing community entertainment for both The Rhythm Thief (3DS) and Super Monkey Ball (PS Vita). The relationship has been stellar and although some of the videos haven't performed overly well, we've been absolutely giddy to have their support and financing. Conventions are another fresh frontier we're now exploring. I confess we had an uber-rocky start with our first at PMX two years ago. After a trashy series of live performances, we walked away with heads hanging, and I vowed we'd never attempt another. But within a month, we were discussing what worked and what didn't, and I ultimately signed us up for a second panel over at Anime Los Angeles. The resulting changes were like night and day, and that "performance" kickstarted a year-long series of successful appearances that escalated into an ongoing (and very enjoyable) side-game. We stopped paying for tickets, and got them for free. First for the days of our panel; then for all the days. Then we started getting our rooms paid for -- first at VidCon, by IGN, and then in San Francisco, by the convention heads. Then our travel expenses also. Rather than search them out, cons began finding us. It happened abruptly, and truth be told, I don't think we deserve it. Our following is small (at this writing, under 15,000 subscribers still on YouTube, and under 500 Facebook fans), but I suppose our panels have proven unique enough that conventions enjoy having us on the schedule to mix up tradition. Either way, I've become a con-addict (they always told me I would be!), so I'm elated to be at them almost every month now! ^_^ We're in a transitional place physically at the moment, in that Peter and I looked at our finances last year and agreed to test the YouTube economy model and move to Lancaster to save money. The Antelope Valley is actually pretty nice and we've made some wonderful friends, who have done some wonderful acting and singing for us (I'm going to briefly shout out Devon Chenoweth and Katie Herbert from the valley, as well as some con friends David King, David Bloom, and Justus Stebner). And then, there's The Girl. The one who hides beneath our table and works on her computer, yelling crazy things periodically. That's Sparrow, our adopted sister. Peter graciously permitted bringing her in earlier this summer when her housing went south (I met her at a cosplay event), and she's been an amazing little chica for us through and through. We've made ourselves into a goofball little family, and our chemistry is pretty much spot-on. It's kind of remarkable how like-minds can end up collecting (or is that the old phrase, Crazy Begets Crazy?) They may end up regarding our home as a special kind of asylum, given the kind of antics we get into... :P Oh, are emoticons a thing on this blog? I don't actually recall if I had a policy of using them or not... <_> Hey, it's getting late and I'm approaching the time my alarm should be going off (I woke up early and decided blogging was better than sleeping for a change!), so let's wrap this up quick and say RE (and, to a larger extent, YouTube) is my new job. It's not always easy, but it's fun and I wouldn't switch it for anything else. Well, except for more and bigger YouTubing. :P We're probably moving back into LA soon, since we're on a new network based near Culver City, and we're also now developing a major project with someone I never suspected we'd get to work with. We've been keeping her name hush for now, but it doesn't take much of a brain to work it out I think -- if you're making a list, she's probably on top of it, and yup, that's her. XD I've been covertly referring to her as "The F Word." We've met once, video conferenced since, and are due to meet up in a week or so to take a browse through YouTube's studio (where we'll hopefully be filming this madness). Can I just say how nervous this project is making me? Is that okay, or will this totally ruin my career? Whoops, too late. Now I can look back and point to this as what sank my entire filmmaking life. Alright, plenty more news to share and update for next time! If there truly is a next time on this blog! Until then, happy 2012 AND 2013, kids! ^^

It Will Be Extremely Painful... For Blogs

Yup. This sums it all up.

If You Don't Stand For Something, You'll Blog For Anything

No way to open 2011's first blog post like a quote from a failed Zack Snyder picture.

Here we find our stellar young hero, AJ, locked in a vicious struggle between his job (an archivist specialist at a motion picture advertisement agency) and his career (writing and directing films). His work pays his rent, but his films propel his reputation and fulfill his mission objectives. The highest of objectives, though -- leaving his job and existing fully on taking missions -- may yet still be unobtainable.

What an impatient pickle to be in!

As of late, Eisenstein's been a killer. Yeah, let's talk about Eisenstein -- that rotten little stump of styrofoam has given me the ultimate displeasure in filmmaking. If it's not one thing, it's another. His arm's off. His hat's down. His hands are caught. His wire's stuck. His bottom's showing. There's no winning with this guy, and it kills the morale of a shoot to retake the same material fifteen times simply to get something usable.

Shooting with actors will never seem easier after this...

Sega's been back in touch lately about... things... That-which-I'm-not-at-liberty-to-discuss is underway and I'll likely need to make some sacrifices to get things together in a timely and efficient manner. Planning is difficult due to the nature of working long distance. But I'm very excited to be back on the radar with them and looking forward to what may be a monumental boost to our popularity in the geek and gaming circles. This is very much an On The Map project, and if our cards are played our proper, we could hugely benefit from this association yet again.

I'm thinking of starting a Spitefully Yours production blog. Weird, since the talk is that we're switching out of production after this episode to focus more on Sega stuff. But I think writing out some of our development discussions and production experiences could be therapeutic, and maybe the extra glimpse into the show will draw a few more interested viewers on to the website (a far better version of which is still being coded).

I Cannot Be Summoned Like Some Mongrel Blog!

Feeling down and fighting a bit of depression today -- admittedly, related to the newest episode of Spitefully Yours. On the one hand, we're trying to make the show thrive and I'm still obligated to sell it, but... Truthfully, this is possibly the worst episode thus far and the first that I'm dissatisfied with. It's largely due to the sound, which our resident professional was unavailable for. Thus, I was forced to do an uncomfortable hack job, and it's (apparently) clear in the cut.

On the one hand, I know every good director (and especially a bad one) needs to learn how to deal with rejection and criticism. But the perfectionist in me is so devoted to this series and selling it as eternally successful that simply packing it up and saying, "Well, we suffered this time; best to keep going" doesn't feel good enough. There's no closure or appreciation for all that I've done the last two weeks (and more importantly, the long and late hours each of the past couple nights). I'm not ready to file the episode and chalk it up as "one of the bad ones" because a) it's a good script with good actors and b) I don't feel like I CAN live with a defeat on our (young) Spitefully Yours record. Misfiring so abruptly is not just bad for business, it's CRIPPLING to get new viewers (we need) and to keep our old ones (who are few and fragile). I suppose I should count my blessings that we went three in a row with such success -- certainly having our first "fail" on the fourth episode has bought us time to secure with viewers that the show and its characters work.

That's secure, right? I don't know, I'm paranoid now. Not just our audiences need to believe it's good, but the people who help make it as well. This is definitely more stressful than making shorts -- this is a lore and legacy that needs to be upheld for a full season...

So I'm torn about where to proceed now. Our Christmas episode is literally breathing down my neck, but without Beard to rely on again, it's made me very nervous that we can't pull off a successful show until he's back. Part of me wants to get the next episode rolling as fast as we can to cover and move on from this one, but the other part of me hates the idea of going the rest of the month with this episode being the current selling point to keep watching.

When I think of going back and re-editing sound even more, though, it truly melts my mind. The balance of pulling voices up and pulling camera sound down is like winning a race without moving your feet. I've already made adjustments once, so I don't know how many cuts I'll be doing and consequently being unhappy with the results of. I'm just not sure enough good can be done to the episode without Peter and his audio work -- and I don't want to spend time switching back and forth between making cuts that are too quiet and making cuts that have too much background noise.

This was never so big a problem when we captured sound on the camera. I don't know how to explain that...

Schedule-wise, I'm also potentially losing a week to help volunteer on a friend's set. His project sounds good and I want to be helpful to him, but GAWWSH DAAARN IT, why does EVERYTHING pile up all at the same time?!?! This couldn't come up when I'm between things? It's gotta hit right in the middle of production on our biggest (and maybe most vital) episode -AND- my supposed final cut of Batman and Spider-Man Save Christmas??? Who comes up with Planet Earth Schedules? Not only do projects suffer, my health suffers, my sanity suffers, my mood suffers, and anyone dealing with me suffers. Nothing ruins everything like EVERYTHING overlapping EVERYTHING.

So as always, rather than flake or leave anyone hanging, I'm instead bent on doing BOTH and hoping the backlash comes down on me and not on my work. I can guarantee a very frazzled AJ for the next two weeks as he goes berserk finding props, actors, and locations WHILE he films with them, just so he can "edit" a full cut AND record with the voice actor BEFORE the short film starts SO THAT we can actually get our usual sound engineer to save us face this time around.

May the Lord God grant me superhuman endurance and unearthly speed to accomplish all things in all places by all deadlines.

You Know What, Princess? You Are UGLY When You're Blogging!

This year, like any year, marks another grand opportunity to put the wraps on Batman and Spider-Man Save Christmas and finally move one film out of my Projects folder and into my Library folder. As is per the norm, the excitement hit just a little late and so I'm pressure-cooking myself back into hyper-drive to edit it on time. And is also per the norm, I'm discovering just what a mess it is musically.

I can't describe it; it's the strangest editing in my life, and this film (if any!) should have more than an ample supply of pre-written, well-fitting score from any of a zillion Batman and Spider-Man movies, let alone hoards of other super hero soundtracks that fit juts as easily. And yet, for all that music, I'm still dipping into films like STAR TREK for music, and I'm still coming up short. What is it about this movie that just doesn't have long enough scenes, or timely-enough hooks, or arcs that mirror the pieces playing? I'm so bewildered! Every single year, I pull this film back out and think, "Alright, no more being lazy! Just work hard and get it done." But this happens instead every year -- I spend HOURS and end up FRUSTRATED, with little or no progress made.

I should probably -- literally -- throw the first pieces into those gaps that come to mind and simply export. Badabing, badaboom. Get this crap over with and stop wasting time and brain power trying to mastermind a more fitting soundtrack. If there's anything I should've learned over these several years of making it, it's that Batman and Spider-Man simply do not want an effective movie score. And by golly, if I work on this another ten years, they'll be sure to turn their masked noses up at every song I try.

Batman. Spider-Man. May God have mercy on your souls. And may God have mercy on me and pop the perfect tracks into mind that belong in this film. Because goodness knows I'm utterly clueless at this point, and I'm already losing my energy for it this year.

Nice Blog, Lao Che!

I've got a couple minutes in my lunch break left, so I thought I'd scrawl a few updates.

First of all, going to Japan this weekend! YOWZA! When did that happen, right? Totally snuck up and caught me off guard, but it's finally here! At least, I HOPE so... We're approved from all companies, headquarters and countries, so the only question is, WHEN WILL SEGA TELL US WHICH FLIGHT TO BOARD??? We were supposedly hearing back yesterday, but apparently our travel arrangements still haven't been set... or else they haven't been passed along to us to plan for...

Then, I've been logging for a reality show this week. That means watching their raw footage and keeping an index of what shots happen when, who's in them, and how useful they'll be for the editors. Really simple and brainless, but less fun than it might initially sound. Yes, you discover all the juicy behind-the-scenes moments, the tentions that flair off-screen, and all the naughty words that don't show up on the television-censored episode, but aside from that, you're watching an awful lot of shaky cameras searching crowds of faces or catching half-inaudible sound clips. Still, it's a paycheck. But hey, DID YOU KNOW... that most of reality television is fake? Not wrestling-fake; worse. At least wrestlers still get hurt and have to do a lot of stupid and dangerous things. Reality shows are like normal people pretending to do normal things, over and over again and coached by a director or camera guy. SADNESS. ;_;

Lastly, I've had a few nightmares these last couple nights. Two nights back, I woke up sweaty and upset that I was getting fired all over again by my last boss at Nickelodeon. I think I couldn't bring him his special organic drink fast enough or something, or they were all hidden and I couldn't find any more. Then last night, I dreamed I somehow dropped my iPhone in a lake full of dead people, and had to search around the murky bottom for it. Thankfully, it still turned on when i got it out, so I had the hopes of returning it to the store still (for those not in the know, an iPhone bill runs $100 a month, and without a stable studio job anymore, I can't afford that plan and am returning the phone before my service agreement takes effect). What is it with the nightmares right now? Geesh...

Oh, quick plug for Spitefully Yours -- I got hit in the face with a real bag of garbage and a fake toaster last night. I think you guys are going to love this episode. How many self-made web shows go to the same lengths that we do to bring you guys pure comedy and genuine entertainment? EXACTLY. I'm proud to be one of the few no-budget productions committed to this level of gag, and it's one element to the show that I promise never to replace. Not only is there still a place in the world for a solid kitchen-appliance-to-the-face joke, I believe that's the sort of element that sets Spitefully Yours ahead of the rest of web entertainment. Hope you enjoy it!

Sorry, That Last Blog Nearly Killed Me

In celebration of tomorrow (today's?) new Halloween episode of Spitefully Yours, I thought I might drop a slight spoiler and post about a relevant topic most of you likely know nothing about: dressing up like a girl.

On shoots wherein I find myself donning female attire (let's face it, it happens a lot when your most common collaborators are a broad mustached guy and a goon with a huge beard), I consistently make what appears to be a strange request for a female companion on the shoot -- camera girl, script girl, lighting girl, production assistant girl -- whatever, someone female to accompany us for the day. Highly strange given that I rarely (if ever) have gender-specific preferences for crew (cast is always another matter, covered in some other blog). My cohorts have questioned it in the past, and I wouldn't expect them to understand given the frequency of how often they play The Girl in comparison to how often *I* play The Girl.

For those of you who aren't accustomed to dressing up like a girl (real girls need not apply), I thought I might finally give it a try outlining my girl-on-set dilemma and see who can make sense of it.

We'll use Needlemouse as the perfect example -- those of you who saw it know I played several roles, including that of ultra-feminine hedgehog Amy Rose.

Whether they realize it or not, guys have an ingrained code that rarely comes into play, but is as follows: when hanging out with a dude dressed as a girl, all other guys must maintain a distance of at least ten feet away at all times for their own dignities. Trust me, we don't think about it until it happens, but once you're standing in the parking lot wearing a dress, your buddies scatter and let you fend for yourself.

Huh. Buncha tough guys they are...

As embarrassing as a trip to set can be while crossdressed, it gets about ten times weirder when the people you brought avoid you like the plague once you get out in public. You can't blame them -- they're guys, and that's how guys are wired. We dodge each other once attired with cootie-clothes. But it makes a sheepish shoot that much more awkward.

Here's the thing about girls: they don't have the ten-feet-away code. In fact, girls often seem to get a kick out of accompanying their male friends in drag, and can even be a little protective over them. Contrast that with the way other guys will throw you to the wolves, and it's a no-brainer that getting a girl on set to escort you makes your shoot a lot less awkward.

Let it be known that despite all this, I'd still vouch for the Bro Code of ditching the guy in the dress. Guys who are too cool with each other dressed as women have the potential to give off a funny and suspect appearance (probably why we have a natural aversion to our buddies once they're in costume). But when it comes to the comfort you can't get from wearing your own clothes, nothing beats a gal pal walking with you.

Thanks, ladies, for walking us to set when nobody else will. ;)

Open The Chest... Stab The Blog...

This is one of those blogs I shouldn't be writing (timestamp: 3:00am), but I wanted to spew a quick update out onto the web. SO HERE'S THE UPDATE: nothing much is happening.

We wrapped the first episode of Eisenstein's new show, "SPITEFULLY YOURS," and are gearing up for immediate production on his second episode next week. This evening, I got to spend several hours drawing ("cartooning") the comic-book-style opening title sequence, which shows Eisenstein and his roommate, Jerry, in a number of "typical" mishaps around the apartment. Cut to the theme song and integrated with Beard's special Spitefully font, it's looking delicious. Got some tweaks to accomplish tomorrow, along with color correction and so forth, but we're otherwise ready for voices.

And did I mention we're CAST? E's got a new voice! We're so stoked and excited! Recording for his lines will begin very soon. This should keep us still on track to premiere the pilot online next weekend. Methinks some sort of party is in order...

Meanwhile, we finally decided on a direction to take the show's third episode, and so I got to work scripting that tonight. I'm amazed that even the simplest ideas become the most devilishly clever once Eisenstein becomes part of the mix. At this rate, we could set up an episode entirely about dental floss and he could STILL crack a few solids and leave us with a five-minute time killer.

Oops, reminds me. The official website/mock-up blog, "Spitefully Yours," needs posts before the pilot premieres and attracts visitors, so for the next few days (weeks), I'm going to be splitting some efforts scrawling out segments for it.

Wow! This is so exciting! Our web show is so close to taking off! And there's so much to do and so little time to do it! But it keeps me busy! And I LIKE IT!


Oh, and I also got the chance to stop by Open Road Films today and help record a behind-the-scenes featurette for the Bold Native DVD. I pretty much said all the wrong things for a steady hour. We'll see how well they can trim around the worst remarks. If they can find 15 seconds of gold among that, I'll be mighty impressed.

For Blogging, James?

Meh. Four questions:

1) Why am I always hungry?
2) Why am I always lonely?
3) Why am I never sleepy?
4) Why can't I settle on what to do?

Let's examine these one at a time:

1) --the reason I am likely always hungry is not, in fact, because I hunger, but because I like yummy things, and the world (and my apartment in particular) is perpetually full of them. Of course, the most coveted treasures of all the yummy things -- restaurant foods -- are just out of reach (financially, geographically, and -- bear with me -- chronologically). So why not just eat the other things presently available? Cause creeping through the living room while people try to sleep is awkward and noisy. Unfortunately, I missed dinner tonight, so I'm EXTRA FAMISHED beyond the norm! :< I guess that's what I get for an extra big lunch. -_-;

2) --the reason I am likely always lonely is because I am, in fact, alone. Well, you know. I got Beard. That fellow is a barrel of laughs. And that takes you so far. But at the end of the day, it takes the love and warmth of the female creature to round out the weary heart. Of course, not for everybody -- Beard's part Vulcan, so love has no purpose toward his master plan of moon-ferrying the human race off our planet. I dare say we'd all be better off as emotionless as Beard. But I digress; the reason I am lonely is because I do not have a significant other, and the reason I do not have a significant other is UNCLEAR. Probably because I'm not social enough. Liking Chinese food wouldn't hurt, either.

3) --the reason I am never sleepy (oh but I am!) is because I've gotten into a really strange sleep-funk, partially accredited to the schmuck downstairs who blares his rap from the hours of 10PM - 7AM. I really need to throw a brick through his window, or ask him kindly to turn it down a few hundred decibals. But really, I just want to throw a brick through his window.

4) --the reason I can't settle on what to do is because I have SO MUCH TO DO! It's like a buffet of all your favorite foods (oogh, so hungry!) You've only got one plate (one smaaall plate) and so much food to pile onto it! No seconds! So what are you going to attack first? My life is a little like that. Every spare night begs the question, "How best will you spend these hours?" Aside from this apparent DISEASE I have (where I feel compelled to keep shooting new movies and writing new projects), I don't really need or want new stuff to work on. In fact, I have much to do that's old! Some of it very old!

And yet, I get exhausted from all I'm facing, and I inevitably throw away some nights on movies, games, television, or music, just to relieve some stress and restore some sanity (I swear I have some laying around somewhere...) That might lead into an arguable 5) Why do I feel guilty all the time? (one word: Christian)


So what else is new? MmmNeedlemouse passed 30,000 views! Happy 30,000 to us! Eisenstein McBones is getting his own internet show. That's (wicked) cool. And I got a job working for Dan Schneider (iCarly, Victorious). Ooo! And it's been raining for three days, too! In Los Angeles! Good news all around!

Halloween is coming up, and I still don't know what to be. I face this dilemma every year, of wanting to be something CUTE. We guys in America get a bad wrap for wanting to dress cute, but who can blame us? Our only options are Go Funny, Go Scary, or Go Home (alternative being "Go Neutral," which equates to a waste of a costume). I've had a lot of people tell me to break out the Amy Rose costume again, but I think most of them just want to see me stranded in West Hollywood in a dress...

I Can't Wait To Kick Some Romulan Blog!

I have nothing important to say today. That's probably why I'm blogging, after all.

Just got back from the iCarly wrap party. I'm so incredibly awkward at social events. I think it's cause I don't know enough people. Plus I need a date, so I can at least pretend I feel popular. Whatever, I improved from the Victorious wrap party, where I literally knew four people in the building. I even got hugged by Ariana Grande ("Cat" on Victorious) before she left. She definitely didn't know me. Glad she feels comfortable hugging strangers (I get the vibe she hugs an awful lot of people she doesn't know...)

We hit a bar afterwards (the ADs and production team, anyway. The kids went home, for obvious reasons). I finally got the chance to buy Danny Gomez a drink for all the times he's gotten my back and kept me busy. Unfortunately, he didn't want any specific drink, and the bartender (bartendress?) gave me loads of crap about picking something specific. I think she ultimately got him a sissy drink. I TOLD HER I wanted something "with a kick." Lesson learned, I need to start drinking.

PS: What do drinks cost, anyway? I told her I had a ten. In retrospect, I probably looked like an idiot. But seriously, Bar Lady, ten bucks can buy two terrible horror movies for a DVD collection, or it can be used on a glass of something somebody will pee out three hours later. Let's get our priorities straight.

Also, I've been feeling recently guilty about how slow my animation progress has gotten. How did I ever complete things like Three And A Half, Christmas Tree Bandit, and I'm Captain Falcon so quickly? I can't judge really whether the animation has gotten more complicated or not; all I know is that this single short has taken me forever, and I've barely gotten all the characters on screen yet. Meanwhile, I have about twenty more episodes building up in my head still that I CAN'T MAKE until I finish this one first, and then the others in the proper order. What a BIG _ BLOODY _ SHAME.

Oh, yeah. And Eisenstein. Ever since wrapping iCarly, I've started seriously writing a web series for our miraculous skeleton puppet, who frequently troubles his roommate with dastardly schemes and malicious intentions. These are bringing out the better writing side of me. It may just be the character (I often claim that he writes himself), or it might be having the appropriate inspiration (just coming off of working for a laugh track-driven sitcom), or even just being at a creatively good place (in between "slumps," perhaps). Regardless, we're ready to start shooting some of these, EXCEPT... I don't know who should play Eisenstein's roommate. :<

I'll be frank: I've been writing the part all along with visions of myself in the role (his roommate is even named "AJ" in the script), but I drool sometimes at the thought of actually getting a really GOOD actor to play the part instead. Production-wise, though, I'm scared to involve anyone else significantly in the series yet, since outside actors are destined to be less reliable to work with. I can pretty much guarantee an episode being shot every weekend if the title roles are played by myself and a puppet. So we'll see. :/

And that's that for the night. Go find some better blogs to read.

Yeah, Well My Bloggage Doesn't Try To Kill Me Every Five Minutes...

Just a quick update, since it's 3 in the morning and I'm out early tomorrow!

September's been quiet... A little *too* quiet. Frankly, I find the whole business shady and disturbing. Like something big is going down...

I've been relatively workless lately, which is very unfortunate given my new apartment a) costs slightly more per month to live in, b) needed some new equipment purchased, like a fridge, and c) had half a month's extra security deposit required. So without that extra income, I'm pressuring my bank account hardcore, and it's NOT _ LIKING _ IT.

Applied to a job yesterday for the web series "Ask A Ninja." They wanted a comedy writing sample in addition to the standard resume/cover-letter, so I dumped them my old Christian Bale rant script, then threw together the sloppiest, least professional cover letter I've ever written. In the style of a ninja, of course. The idea was that rather than being a boring 20-something looking for work, I was a fanatical ninja maniac who happened to have a sharp grasp of comedy. Judging from the way they didn't ever call me, I'm thinking my plan sorta failed. >_<

I'm keeping quite busy with a few side projects, one being editing a new comedy series for a college friend who just started a deal up with a New York humor blog. I also issued the same challenge to my roommate that I tried to push a year ago: shooting one new film every single weekend, in order to keep sharp and productive at all times. Not that either of us are neither of those things; we're both insanely crafty and diligent, but I figure if we're not using our skills to put out new material for the world, then we're SQUANDERING OPPORTUNITY! So better to rush through film after film and keep cranking out projects than to do a lot of talking and never really accomplish anything physical. However, that means time spent on great things like writing and developing will be much harder to find. :/ Maybe we'll make a trade-off for that later. Our first film, HANS GETS THE KICK, is just nearing completion now.

I do hope I get the inspiration to resume animating soon. As much as I need money and as many projects as I have to edit, I really want to see solid and effective progress made in my cartoons, especially since finishing just one more -- especially THIS one -- will likely push me over the edge to start getting some credible attention paid. To go fully serious, I'll need to pay for a real animator, I think... but for now, I just have to prove that I'm BANKABLE in directing great stories with these characters. And, fortunately, the only hinderance to proving I'm bankable is the physical (tedious) process of completing enough cartoons. :/ I know the work is good, every time.

^Most arrogant statement of my life.

You guys own a Wii? I like mine. It's good fun. But I've recently found it has a problem with erasing my GameCube memory cards. Not erasing, actually, but corrupting data. It's really, really obnoxious, particularly in that it's now corrupted data on 3 of my 4 cards (2 being Nintendo's own brand). Twice, the cards affected have been my STORE EVERYTHING cards (i.e. the most spacious models), so that equates to an awful lot of game saves that have gone down the tubes a few too many times. And frankly, if I can't keep my game data from session to session, then a lot of games are no fun to play at all. -_- I'm hoping that turning my Wii on its side will prevent heat from escaping out the top (and thereby corrupting the cards?). I'll let you know if I find an improvement with it set on its side.

TIME TO GO.

You Wanna Blog To God? Let's Go Blog Him Together...

IOU: 9,000 apologies for not blogging enough anymore. :(

IOtons of other people tons of money (car registration, insurance bills, passports, security deposits, church). :( :(

IOCornell one transcribed 90 minute interview by sun-up. :( :( :(


Do the math, it = my life sucks.



But let's see. On the remarkable side of things, I actually secured an apartment (! win!) in North Hollywood and will be moving in with bearded buddy Beard at the end of the month to officially commence our ongoing campaign against parties, dating, happiness, and social norms in general. Regrettably, tomorrow's Nate's last day in LA -- the guy's had enough of California for now and has decided to pack up and head back to New York. All our great projects will have to return to being trans-continental. :< However, we still have a trip to Japan planned, so more misadventures are to ensue later in this year... OUT OF COUNTRY!

Speaking of which, thanks again to everybody who voted way back in July for NEEDLEMOUSE! I have no clue whether I blogged about it, but just to rehash quickly, video game developers at SEGA hosted an "I love Sonic the Hedgehog" video contest for his 19th birthday, and Nate convinced me we should enter something. So in true Fungus-Ridden form, I penned a musical up, churned out a song, and then the two of us spent two weeks (and let's be honest, a little cash) building costumes and shooting it ourselves (with selective help from a few spare -- talented -- hands). It seems like ancient history already, but to be perfectly frank, one of the best things to have come from the contest (besides a free trip to Japan and an *international* award-winning film) was witnessing the power of YouTube in action. Needlemouse is sitting pretty right now with some 25,000 views since it went live a month ago. Nothing I've ever posted has had a successful internet reaction or fanbase before, so it's been startling, uplifting, and inspiring to see some genuine buzz stirred up all over the net. Granted, Nate pointed out a music video of his with 100,000+ views, but for an entirely original film, 25k in a month isn't bad. At least, it's loads better than any of my other work. So it's made me consider some other future musicals to test the YouTube audiences with. Wicker Man: The Musical, anyone?

I've also been editing The Prince of Australia: The Sands of Pleasure recently. And by editing, I mean, working like a MACHINE. I think I was inspired to try finishing a rough cut before Nate left, so he could do his own character's voice-over. Now I realize that's impossible... but seeing rapid progress has inspired me to keep editing constantly anyway. It's such a crazy movie... Everybody has a rough idea of my general disdain for *PRODUCTION VALUES,* particularly when they interfere with my ability to stretch the creative capacity of a movie. FOR EXAMPLE, in this movie, our hero encounters a hag, a troll, a hip-hop genie, a sand monster, and a power-crazed hell-beast. His sidekick/broadsword is a talking chicken with a musical number. He fights the villainous Red Lobster as well as an army of fur-faced Olaff warriors. He explodes someone's head, throws somebody under a truck, and has a hand burst Alien-style out of his chest for a third of the movie. He valiantly fights and kills numerous adversaries, and his chicken sidekick slaughters a number more. The chicken's stunt double even steps up for one of the late climactic battles.

Without money, technology, or scores of professionals, this movie is as good as impossible to make effectively convincing (if you would like to share some pointers on my resource management, though, please be my guest). But I'm primarily a CREATIVE force in movies, so that's what my work tends to focus on. If I were a cinematographer, perhaps my work would look a little better... but really, who wants to see me making films for the purpose of shooting nice angles? The only reason anyone likes my movies is because they focus so sharply on the story and characters!

Right, my transcription needs to be finished. Ramble over with. Back to work!

The Cleaning Lady Picks Up Blogs. She 'Blogs.'

A) I need to compose more. I can't wait to get a new place with my own room again, so I can set up my massive writing/editing/animating/composing lab and Frankenstein out some new creative media concoctions. (Bwahahaha!)

B) <- This looks like a smiley wearing sunglasses.

C) I picked up a brief stint at Comic-Con this year as a photographer's assistant on Morgan Spurlock's documentary (he did Super Size Me and Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden, you may remember). Comic-Con was AWE-SOME!!!- ...but I need to go back again next year so I can hit the panels, pick up freebies, wear costumes, and do tons of other cool stuff with the armies of nerds attending each year.

D) My new musical, NEEDLEMOUSE, just won me a week-long trip to Tokyo, Japan! Sega sponsored a Sonic the Hedgehog 4 promotional film contest, and judges from America, the UK, and Japan ultimately selected my film as the North American grand prize winner! Nate co-directed with me and we just got our paperwork in to Sega. Now all that's left is to pick which week we want to book our flight and meet up with Sonic Team at Sega headquarters overseas! And tell you me this: I've THIRSTED for the chance to visit Japan for ages. Thirsted like a were-wolf thirsts for the blood of a virgin. Only more than that. I'm still all wound up about it and can hardly imagine what it'll be like to leave the States for a week and tour around Japan on somebody else's corporate bill. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh! (if you're reading this and you supported the film during the contest, thank you!)

E) I've got a new DVD collection I'm trying to race through production on now containing most of my old films. The catch is that if I work quickly, I can actually work my second-ever feature film into it... which remains only a quarter edited. Given it needs massive voice-over and rotoscoping work, trying to pound it out entirely in weeks may be impossible... but I'm stoked to have purpose to try anyway!

F) Oh, yeah, and Nate and I also just shot a super-teaser for our upcoming horror film 'THE BEARD 2' yesterday. It turned out pretty epic... Everything The Beard (1) had and was, to the T. A major concern we've had in writing the sequel was giving it a thorough monster movie feel by fleshing out the story elements while still remaining faithful to the qualities the first movie expressed most: humor, simplicity, momentum, and light-heartedness. With Nate's help, I've been penning out some new material and twisted a couple old ideas to fit both sets of criteria, and it's beginning to truly look and feel like a Beard movie... enhanced! We're putting it out for a Halloween web release, so there should be plenty of time to toy with the film before it's finished.

G) Forgot, I also saw an advanced screening of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World with director Edgar Wright in the audience (Q&A afterwords). That's where the blog title's quoted from.

Go Ahead. Make My Blog.

Yeesh. I don't even have a job to hide behind anymore.

Oh, yeah. So let's see what all you've been missing out on... For starters, I was laid off from my job at Mojo the first day of June. Then Nickelodeon called looking for help shooting iCarly, and then Nate moved to LA and has been crashing in my room ever since. But don't worry. He's Gaston.

We ended up on a shoot as art department PAs, which was cool because it put us in direct involvement with crew from BATTLESHIP, HANCOCK, and SPIDER-MAN. It was paid, too, so everyone walked away a little wealthier -AND- a little richer. ;)

A buncha apartment situations fell through, leaving Nate stranded even longer at my place, and leaving life in something of a disarray. Thankfully, we're back to our old tricks and actually just began pre-prod on a new short musical. And it's video game-based! Just like old times! I'm feeling really good about it, too: it's got a strong script, some great music, insane costuming, and even some legit set-design and prop construction! All this for a tiny musical number? Yeah, Yoshi Stadium this isn't. Welcome to the real world of competitive filmmaking. :/

Now that you're up to speed, may I just take a brief moment to complain? The 4th of July is this coming weekend, and I'm in despair about a lack of exciting activities to do in celebration. Back when I had a job, I was all for making plans and maxing out the fun factor of my two bonus days off. Now, though, I'm pretty much solely focused on when we're shooting which scene and how long I have left to put these costumes together. It's almost like I'd rather not have the holiday yet, because I know I'm going to be brain-slaving after this film and not wanting to break away to embrace the time off. FUGAH!

He's Killed The Blog... Again...

I'm covering today for our company's receptionist, who has the day off. That meant coming in an hour early, which also meant going to bed before midnight (terribly unusual). I was dragging by 11pm, though, so I sacked out unreasonably early, hoping to cash in on the extra hours and wake up entirely refreshed and revitalized.

Before we go any further, you're all no doubt aware that I have --issues-- with time. Psychological, mental, emotional... whatever. Time's sort of an obsession with me, and not just having enough of it, but appropriately using it. Most of my life is plagued trying to work out how to maximize the efficiency of my life, to use it effectively enough and to enjoy it enough. 'Nuff said.

So I went to bed early, and fell asleep reasonably soon after that. And I began to dream.

I dreamed I was getting ice cream with a bunch of kids from high school. But I didn't actually have money, and the only kids I recognized there were my ex-girlfriend and her long-time boyfriend. Apparently there was alcohol, because she and the other girls were getting a little tipsy, and (naturally) a little flirtatious. But the longer this went on, the more frustrated I got, until I suddenly made the decision that this dream was going absolutely nowhere and that it was all wasting my precious sleep-time.

So I actually forced myself awake from my dream, to cancel everything and start over again with something else. I guess I felt like I'd be hugely dissatisfied waking up after spending all night at an alcoholic ice cream shop.

The more remarkable thing is that after waking up and seeing it was still pseudo-dark out, I somehow convinced myself it was only 1AM and that I had another 7 hours of sleep. Which was fine, because I lulled myself back to sleep under the pretense that my alarm was hours from wrecking my morning.

Anyway, the truth is, whatever crappy dream I managed afterwards, it didn't work and I ultimately still woke up groggy and dissatisfied with my night's sleep a couple hours later. And the moral of the story is, don't wake up in the middle of the night trying to get a more fulfilling rest.



PS: On a more somber note, my Bible presented me this morning with a very serious passage about putting people to death who worked on the Sabbath (day of rest). The last time I read a passage like this, is was immediately before being offered a writer's PA position with Sunday hours (I declined). Keeping the Sabbath is a policy I've recently gotten somewhat lax about following (full circle to the "use of time" dilemma), so nothing's a quick kick in the butt to take one day a week and use it strictly for relaxing like a death threat. Consider Sunday my day off.

Evil Will Always Triumph, Because Blogs Are Dumb

I am morbidly ashamed of myself for allowing this blog to sit idle for a solid month without update. This is truly a crime against humanity. As punishment, I'm forcing myself to update it.

So I stopped by a certain director's blog at work today (cough Cory Edwards cough) to check on the progress of a certain big-deal film (cough Fraggle Rock cough). I haven't spoken to Cory in quite some time, and now that I'm "gainfully employed," I'm not necessarily looking for a production position at this point. It was interesting to discover, however (albeit not shocking) that between the Weinstein Company's sluggish executives and a general lull on the industry still holding over from last year's economy, nobody's willing yet to push the movie into production. Imagine that, a property as established and successful as Jim Henson Company's Fraggle Rock can't get a release date settled, even while Chris Nolan is releasing brain-obliterator Inception in tent pool prime real estate... in IMAX... Not that Nolan doesn't deserve everything he's getting, but you'd think a Fraggle Rock reboot would be a bit more... secure...

Anyway, the real question we want to know is, GEE WHIZ, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, AJ? And you know what?

c_c;

>_>;

...I'm okay with it. :X

For Cory's sake, and Fraggle fans everywhere, yeah, I'm bummed and pissed and whatever else I should be, cause they're totally owed their movie and I'd be ultra-impatient about getting this picture rolling if it were mine. BUT, a delay on Fraggle Rock means more time to build some experience, should an opportunity on it lay ahead in my destiny. If Fraggle Rock doesn't get greenlit for photography until 2011, then that's a strong year of working hard at Mojo, making connections, building a reel, whatever-- It's buying time (for free) to make myself a more credible asset that Cory may or may not eventually find use for, on a film that could catapult me into a more direct filmmaking position for the rest of my career (without it being hauling walkies and distributing sides for five years, and working my way into a producer's path accidentally).

But, enough about that. Fraggle Rock, for me, is a long-shot. I don't even know what I'd really want to get out of it at this point. Just between you and me, and everybody else on the internet who reads this blog, I have high and certain doubts that working on major pictures in low-man roles will ever move my down marker forward. In non-football speak, "I won't get famous throwing out garbage for Iron Man 3." I see two major paths for success, and I'd like to make it known that I really didn't comprehend them until post-graduation (because film school, you see, doesn't prepare you for the real world. But they do a slam-bang job of preparing you for random pop quizzes about Soviet Montage on the street-).

The first key to success is simple: pick good friends -- pick talented friends -- and pick a good project to make with them. Then make it, and sell it, and be sure you're a vital part of that recipe for success (none of this "I boom mic'd" crap, that gets you nowhere). And be sure it gets you money, or cred. As in, credibility. Because you need either to move on to your next movie afterwards, and if you can't get one or the other, you're out of luck.

The second key to success is even simpler: make something terrific yourself. No sharing involved here (success is all yours, if it works; the bill is all yours, if it fails). Obviously, something like animation can and may be totally fail-safe monetarily, making it an excellent option.

As you might imagine, I'm working at keeping both of these doors wide open.

But enough about life lessons from someone who's barely had 20 years of it. How 'bout that Iron Man 2? Storming the box office like a gangbuster, but something tells me I'm just not going to like him any better after this picture than I did after the first. Sorry, Iron Man, but my heart belongs to Spidey. And the Dark Knight. That guy really knows how to put up a sequel.

Uh, only other interesting news is that I'm back in "productive mode" and rushing out materials every night after work as best I can. Earlier this week, Nathan Morse's KILL BOOTH wrapped and I had the honor of cutting the first teaser-trailer for it (technically the second, since I'd previously helped him work out a graphics-only teaser pre-shooting). Is it solid? It's good, and you can see for yourself at the KB website, but that's just been the tip of the ice berg this week. I moved on immediately to another long-time project, the SAW ZER0 DVD COLLECTION I've been planning, and that's been eating a LARGE chunk of my time. I think I got it in my head that I couldn't release these films until I'd made an animatic for a scene in an unfinished fourth script... So after several nights of cruddy Flash-work, I'm nearly done with that, and I'm sorry to say I can't quite tell if it was worth the hours of extra work to tack on as an iffy bonus feature. Especially when a full blooper reel O_O isn't actually ready to go on disc yet.

Goal is to wrap and burn the first DVD by Monday. Other goal is to cut a new NO COUNTRY FOR MERRY MEN trailer by Friday. First trailer was fine, but now that I'm re-releasing with *NEW* EFFECTIVE-AND-GOOD EDITING, I figure it needs a stab of fresh hype to maybe get people to watch it again, cut anew with jokes that are comedically timed to "not fall flat."

Oh! Bonus spoiler, I raced up to Burbank after work Thursday to act in Corey Trench's SELF UNEMPLOYED web series again. For those who don't follow, the series follow's Corey's character on an epic quest to never pay rent with his own money. We're now on season 2, and I'm continuing to portray recurring character "Alex," who (SPOILERS!) actually exudes the slightest ounce of a dark side... We've shot two episodes now for the second season, and my character's still not dead... no clues, however, on if and when I'm dropping from the series. I can say with reasonable certainty, though, that unless Corey writes me out appropriately in the script, I'll continue to play Alex in future episodes.

Right, that's it. I'm really hungry, and my punishment is well-served. I'ma making hotdogs. And then I'm back on Flash. Bye!

I Eat Blogs For Breakfast, And Right Now I'm Very Hungry!

Blogging at work is so much fun. ^____^;

I know what you're thinking: how can you seriously be blogging on the job? And after only two weeks of being hired? C'mon, AJ -- that's a recipe for disaster!

Well, I wouldn't bother blogging under normal circumstances, but when I'm guarding the front desk from the EVIL INVADERS OF DARKNESS that apparently lurk in the shadows and steal cuts of our trailers (okay, and the early versions of movies they're for), I have very little else to do than self-entertain on the computer.

I've made a goal/habit of filling a small notepad with new character designs -- one per page, front and back -- for fifty pages. The idea is, with 100 little doodads and doodettes trolling around my notebook, there should be at least a couple decent ideas among a plethora of stinkers. That's the hope, anyway. Whether this proves to be a brilliant strategy or an exercise in futility has yet to be determined, but as a concept, it's so far been pretty sweet. I'm definitely noticing a severe lack in creativity regarding body shapes, hands, and feet.

I'm also desperately searching for a character design that can be used as the general 'resident' of whatever this bushhog/wizard/bunny/clown/pirate world is. The Mushroom Kingdom has Toads; Animal Crossing has animals; the Simpsons have... well, "humans." So what default *creature* makes up the majority population in "wizard land?" It's a challenge, since the character needs to maintain the same cuteness and appeal, but be entirely adaptable to various costumes and occupations. And to that end, these characters really need to have legs and arms. Going about their daily jobs would be infinitely more complicated without limbs.

You Best Start Believing In Web Blogs, Miss Turner -- You're In One!

So, today was the Cherry Blossom Festival, and of course, I went. I came home without a new girlfriend, or even a new girl _ friend, so I suppose that counts as a complete failure on my part. However, I did immensely enjoy being there, and I even worked up the courage (EEEE! GO, AJ, GO!) to tell one of the girls from the fashion show that I thought she was very cute on stage.

Then I ran away and almost vomited, partly because I was so mortified that I had told her that, and partly because I was disgusted with myself for leaving without offering any sort of conversation besides that. Ughghhghgh, IDIOT! IDIOT! MAN, that sucked! She probably thought I was the creepiest, most awkward person of the day -- like, tell-all-your-friends awkward.

Oh well... She's a cute girl -- she probably gets awkward guys telling her all the time how adorable she is... -______-; It took me right back to high school, or junior high, or whenever I was last getting my pants scared off me by girls (that's not a pun). I don't think I've ever been so petrified before Inter-Gender Interaction, or so aghast with myself and fluttery after. All over one sweet girl at a fashion event. PITIFUL. I need to work out more... at flirting...

But the good news is, I did it. And when I was standing there, staring through people at her, weighing my options, I went, "Aw, heck," and realized I could never live with myself just walking away to find a bus stop without approaching her. I just had to throw myself overboard and make it happen.

I'm pretty sure she saw me looking at her, and probably noticed she was drawing all my attention during the show, too. But she was standing there by herself after, flipping through options on her phone, so I edged in on her for about ten scary minutes before committing to the plan and finally walking towards her... probably like an obvious beeline, but I was scared, so cut me a break.

She saw me coming and kind of looked down like she hadn't noticed, but I resolved to not back down, so I went right up to her. About the eight-feet-away mark, she looked back up and we maintained some sheepish form of eye contact, which held for about two seconds. Then I stammered my, "Hey, you were great-" mumbling, and she looked back and forth between me and the ground, kinda giggled and said thanks, and did a little curtsey.

Then I like positively RAN away, for fear some boyfriend would pop out of nowhere or some Asian beefcake would step in and hijack things, and make me look DOUBLY stupid.

It was a sad ride home (when I finally found a bus, after about two hours of walking and waiting). Such a beautiful creature seems so many levels of poise and beauty beyond me -- clumsy caucasian dork, no social life, still gets acne...

But you know what? I know I have a heart of gold, a charming wit, and a loving, loyal personality that some girl WILL be smitten with. I may not be Parappa the Rappa with gold bling and a 40k car and some sort of Golden Abs Six Pack, but just the fact that I can make that quip with a straight face (and two thousand more of them a day) should indicate something exciting and special I bring to the table. Maybe it's warmth, or care, or just the fun of the 20-second adventures I live out from sun-up to sun-down, but whatever it is that makes the AJ character, it's something other guys lack, and the right girl will find it *irresistible*.

I tend to blog depreciative comments and jokes as a presentation of humility, but I'll risk sounding brash to wrap this up on an unusually optimistic and honest note:

Even someone as precious and perfect as an adorable size-3 Japanese girl can find me a loving and rewarding partner to stand by, trust, and cherish. Somewhere deep down, I do have self-confidence, and for good reason.

Tonight We Dine On Blogs!

I've been talking a lot about the Cherry Blossom Festival lately -- that's the annual celebration of Japanese culture and heritage, and Los Angeles is something of a buzz-hub for it. This year, I've been murmuring about attending not only due to my love of all things Japan, but for the thing about Japan I arguably love most: its girls.

Of course, that makes me feel like a giant jerk, chasing skirts like way too many other wolfish guys out there. The difference, naturally, is that I'm looking for a relationship, not a one-night stand, but that doesn't really make me feel better about it. I like to imagine love is something you just stumble into blindly, and that it happens without your involvement. Trying to maneuver myself into its path feels -- well -- like cheating, and also (to an extent) slimy.

Being realistic, though, I have very little opportunity to meet girls if I'm not making an honest effort to get out and leave myself lying around places they commonly congregate. They certainly don't flock into my house, or sit in my editing space, or come by to peek over my shoulder while I'm animating. They don't tend to sit down next to you and chat at the movies, either. Nor do they really storm into church to meet you (not mine, anyway), or get hired at your workplace (in the film industry particularly -- and my company has a non-fratinization policy, anyway). And for a guy who doesn't hit the bars or the clubs or take classes or chill with the hipsters at green cafes and Starbucks... WHERE DOES A GUY MEET A GIRL NATURALLY???

So that's been on my mind. Also, this:

What is a male's "feminine side?"

I was in the kitchen today at work, and I made this realization: my life has a severe lack of "cute and cuddly." As in, I live with very little warmth. I sleep on my couch, get in my car, log onto my computer at work, punch in my time every night, grab something from the fridge and put it on the stove, and cut some video or type out a scene, and call it a night. That's a pretty lifeless, loveless day, especially to be repeated time and again.

So it got me thinking, "What am I searching for? Why do I need a girl? What can she offer than guys obviously don't?" Dirty answers aside, it seems to be that I'm missing the hugs and kisses and -- I guess -- the girliness a guy apparently needs in his life.

Guys, who are so intensely devoted to securing a "macho" and "manly" image, and shunning all things that aren't murder, vengeance, or power, apparently have a spot in their hearts -- or souls -- where we NEED that softness, that cuteness, and that comfort that women are brimming with. IS THAT THE SO-CALLED 'FEMININE SIDE,' and maybe a better question, WHY CAN'T WE ADMIT WE HAVE THAT?

A further trick to this is that (and I realize I now draw dangerously close to requiring disclaimer that the following applies perhaps solely to myself and not my entire sex) this sense not only applies to what we want to receive, but also to what we want to *give.*

--I don't want to simply have a girl who I find cute and cuddly; I want a girl who finds ME ALSO cute and cuddly, and with whom I can even behave this way.

This relates back to my prior question of having a feminine side. Here's an interesting twist (that, again, some guys may not share) -- the breakdown isn't complicated:

With other guys, I want to be the most badass of the group -- the fearsome leader that the others will admire.

I want guys to respect me.

With girls -- ready for this? -- I want to be seen as cute, disarming, and maybe even a little infantile.

I want girls to adore me.

(Boy, does that sound insecure! But then, throw in a little Darwinism, and it makes perfect sense that my mating strategy would partly compliment the evident instinctual fear women have of dominant and threatening men. So, in my favor, I'll claim my response as being an evolutionary assist-)

And in mixed company, it gets really tricky. I can't get respect from guys if I'm playing baby for girls, and I can't be cute and lovable if I'm playing tough guy for the boys (and IRL, it gets worse: I get shy around girls, and comfortable around guys, and ultimately FLIP-FLOP the two: cold and scary around girls, immature and goofy around guys!)

I realize this is not only rambly but also growing lengthy, but I think it's both interesting and vital to address. Men see images like James Bond as the apex of masculinity: cold, distant, and generally detached in all relationships. But I don't think that's really in a man's nature, so much as it's the nature of our modern "manly" definition.

My hypothesis? Maybe wanting someone cute to cuddle up to -- or to *be* cute and cuddle up to -- isn't as feminine as we generally classify it. Maybe wanting cuddle time with someone soft and adorable is a more human trait than a gender one.

Maybe a guy's "feminine side" is actually the severe and harmful lack of femininity in his life -- "femininity" that humans rely on for happiness.

I'm Disinclined To Acquiesce Your Blog. (Means 'No')

Oops, let the blog out of the bag again.

So I fell a little behind in updating, and this *really* isn't the time to be doing it (just had a 17-hour workday, followed by an early morning for church and no real sleep). But things have been hectic enough around here that whenever I get a chance to update, I probably need to jump on it.

Following my stint with Nickelodeon (their new show, 'Victorious,' had its first episode premiere after the Kids' Choice Awards recently), I moved into a couple interviews, and wound up in the office on a new pilot for Fox, being shot by Sony. In the midst of all that, I came up with a second-round interview at a trailer company (had to back out when they couldn't schedule around the pilot I was already on), and eventually, a job offer from rival movie marketer, Mojo. You don't know how happy I was to accept it (because I haven't told you how happy I was yet).

On the side, I'm still putting some honest effort into animating the next cartoon. It doesn't have a name yet, but it more-or-less stars Scotch the Rabbit, as she tries to win over her new (non-mutual) best friend and playmate, Bushhog. Unfortunately, I have SO MANY OTHERS TO MAKE, and this one's been TAKING SO LONG, I feel like the storylines are staling and stagnating in the queue. WHY IS PROGRESS SO DIFFICULT TO MAKE?!?

I also just started rewriting a draft of my roommate's horror script, which is largely comprised of true (?) events that have happened since moving here. The story follows some newbie kids who settle in on their own, and become terrorized by a faceless stalker with murderous intentions. Sound generic? It largely is, with the exception of intimacy: it's a close cast, which means there won't be body parts splattering or big-boobed women disrobing in showers just to get hacked up by Act II. When you operate with so few characters, keeping them alive -- and giving them character -- is that much more important, so that's where the focus is so far going on the project.

That's basically all on my project plate at the moment. I have lots of old editing to do, some trailers on the horizon, and plenty of writing to tackle on the side, but I'm otherwise making minor headway in life. Personally, the world's been pretty slow in all other respects. Stopped playing video games, mostly. No new movies to watch (and no money to buy them with, anyway). No girlfriends, or hopes of one, either. No social life to foster hopes for a girlfriend. I keep making wild claims that I'm attending Little Tokyo's Cherry Blossom Festival next weekend, in hopes of lingering around the J-pop fashion show and meeting someone, but let's be frank and honest: that's totally not going to happen. Not me going; the part where it pays off. That part won't happen. But hope springs eternal, and given my love for all things Japanese (except their food -- yuck), I like to imagine spending the time to enjoy a celebration of their current and classic cultures.

On a separate note, there's rumors that (with everyone in the house finally employed) we may be hosting a barbecue in the near future! Super freaking hot! It's about time, too -- we have this sweet yard, and California weather is continually generous, and the whole house is generally kept visitor-friendly... We just haven't gotten a lot of time to show off and hang out.

Uh, and before I sign off, might as well squeeze in a plug for F-R's new movie, KILL BOOTH, written and directed by co-founder Nathan Morse. Looks good, sounds good, reads good, and should BE good, whenever it's finished. I hear they started photography a couple days ago, and have two scenes of their historical action-epic finished already. I don't know much more than that, except that (for me) that means I'll be getting some cuts to begin work on a trailer and web-spots soon.

KB also just picked up a composer recently (FINALLY), which made me both happy and sad. Happy, because it definitely needed one, and my inflexible schedule and limited technology/know-how would have severely impeded my own efforts to offer a score. Sad, because no matter how impossible and stressful a project is, I always want to do as much for it as I can, and to be honest, I was gearing up and prepping to write cues just when the news broke. I don't know how they found him or what his rates run, but he's got some pro-references and a handful of tracks to prove he's experienced. He also shows an understanding of both subtlety in music and poised, balanced dynamics, the likes of which I don't feel I've heard around the usual Ithaca campus selection. He may have yet to prove himself in his comprehension of melody, but by all accounts, he has both the assets and resources to make a phenomenal and -- more importantly -- professional-sounding Hollywood score: something Kill Booth very much requires. And the guy even resides here in LA with me, attending USC's scoring program. Maybe I should take this guy out to lunch or something. Or maybe I should blindly critique his music more first.

Either way, he brings something new to the table that I couldn't, and I'm happy to have him on board. From what I can tell all the way across the country, this movie's going to be GREAT! I look forward to seeing the first cuts... and making you guys some teaser-tidbits with them, too. :>